Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

25 Random Things about Me



1. I received the name Luna in a dream in 1991. I meditated in the evening, then asked to know my true name, then went to sleep for the night. I dreamed my name was Luna, and when I woke up, I knew that was my name. Interestingly, when I introduce myself by my birth name, Anita, no one can ever remember my name.

2. I lived in a rural, intentional community (East Wind) for a year in my early 20s, which totally changed my life. I learned about spirituality, nature, organic food, herbs, intentional childrearing, community living, and how to pee standing up!

3. I have always loved art -- drawing, painting, sculpture, pottery, everything. I wanted to go to art school when I was 17, but my parents said no, so I went to university instead. I regretted that decision, so I infuse my life with creativity, share my love of art with my art-loving daughter, and let my artistic temperament out to play.

4. I am from New York. New York culture is an important part of who I am. Born in Queens, raised near Peekskill. No accent, unless I'm inebriated, angry, or on the phone with my mother.

5. I love many people so much sometimes it hurts.

6. I have never learned how to whistle.

7. I love to ride my bicycle, but I have been too scared since I was "car-doored" and injured two years ago. A little PTSD goes a long way.

8. I love all animals, but have no pets.

9. I lived in Portland for a year, attended graduate school in counselor education, got straight A's, then dropped out because I felt I was short-changing my pre-school-aged son. So I returned to Eugene and my child-centered creativity.

10. Teaching yoga has been my favorite job, by far, especially prenatal yoga, and I can see myself sharing the joys and benefits of yoga with others far into the future.

11. I still crave chocolate whenever I'm upset, even though I know better than to expect sweets to feed my inner needs, and I try to avoid sugar and eat healthy. It's an addiction, and sometimes it is stronger than I am.

12. I still love everyone I have ever loved, even the ones I never want to speak to again.

13. I really, really, really hated high school.

14. I love being near water, just to see and hear it makes me happy -- creek, river, lake, waterfall, ocean, fountain, anything.

15. My children, yoga, and spirituality are by far the most important things in my life.

16. I love Eugene, Oregon completely and hope to live here for the rest of my life.

17. I have lived in 8 U.S. states and visited 44 states.

18. I love to travel. I hate to travel with my children (sorry, kids!), so I haven't travelled much since my son was born in 1993. I hope to remedy this as he begins college this Fall (yay!).

19. I have intense, life-long, chronic insomnia. I have tried every insomnia remedy, natural and not, and could easily write a book about how to sleep. However, some nights, my expertise is humbled...and wide-awake.

20. My nose was broken in a fist-fight in 1992 by a supposed friend with whom I was in conflict, who happened to be a former gang member (she knew how to fight, and I did not). On that day, I learned the destructive power of outward-directed anger. I wear that lesson on my face as a constant reminder that finding win-win solutions to conflict is the only answer. Now I'm a certified community mediator :)

21. I have been pursuing spiritual development, holistic health, and personal growth continuously for over 20 years.

22. I would much rather snack than cook. It amuses me that Cancerians are supposed to be fabulous cooks when I can hardly make toast.

23. I mostly listen to mantras, kirtans, and other yoga music, but I still rock out sometimes to old fav's from the 80s, and I love to dance to anything danceable.

24. I am learning to pace myself, and live more in the moment.

25. I am proud of how far I have come, and accepting of how far I still have to go.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

10 Things I Have Learned From Being Sick


Oh God, please, I don't want to be sick anymore. I want to be well and happy and live my life and attain peace and fulfillment. But if I have to be sick, (and it seems that I do, since I have been sick for so long, and I have already tried everything to become well and failed), then please, please, let it not be for nought. Let my experience of illness benefit myself and others. Let me learn, grow, teach, and touch others' lives in a positive way.

10 Things I Have Learned From Being Sick:

1. That the Body is not the Self.

2. That the body's insistent demands can be heeded or ignored, by conscious choice.

3. I have developed self-discipline, at long last. I can swallow terrible-tasting medications daily, if needed. I can abstain from things I love and crave, like sugar, dairy products, chocolate, gluten (pizza and bread!), and even sex, to help myself feel better.

4. That so-called "experts" are not necessarily trustworthy. I have been misdiagnosed, wrongly advised, and prescribed medications that made me much worse. Now, I trust my inner voice and my body's clear messages over and above the advice of any doctor or professional. I know myself best.

5. I have learned to be an excellent medical researcher and holistic health scholar, out of dire necessity. I have learned so much about yoga, natural healing, nutrition, nutritional supplements, food sensitivities, herbology, homeopathy, ayurveda, amino acid therapy, psychiatric treatments, pain medications, sleep remedies, and much more. Ask me anything!

6. I have learned to lean on others for support when needed. I much prefer to be independent, and am very strong-minded. But when the chips are down (and they often have been, in recent years), I have learned to ask for help, and to let others take care of me. I especially thank my husband and my parents for their help in learning this lesson.

7. I have learned to let go of perfectionism. I cannot do everything exactly the way I want to do it anymore. For awhile, I was overwhelmingly frustrated by the limitations of being ill. Many days I can barely get out of bed. Even doing one or two things half-assed is a major victory. My ego wants to excel, but my aching body and unstable mind really need to just get by. So I have learned to just get by, and to be okay with that. The girl with a National Merit Scholarship and straight A's at Yale has learned many humbling lessons from being too ill to work.

8. I have learned to have so much more compassion for others. I used to be jealous of other people who seemed to have easier lives than mine. I now know that we are all struggling, in our own individual ways, as the wheel of Samsara turns. Having an invisible disability makes me look a little closer at all the "normal," healthy-looking people I meet, since I'm sure I look normal and healthy to you, and I'm not.

The more I look and listen, the more I realize we all have problems, we all suffer, we all are learning from our challenges, we are all beautiful, and we are all in this together. No matter what, I try my best to be kind to everyone I encounter. No matter how I'm feeling, I can at least smile and acknowledge each person's humanity and divinity: "Namaste'."

9. I have learned to pace myself. Pushing myself makes my illnesses push back. I tend to be driven, but I know now that I am not in the driver's seat. This particular experience of being alive -- with fibromyalgia and manic-depressive illness -- forces me into the passenger seat.

I used to convince myself I was in control. Now, I flow with my moods. I yield to my pain cycles. I don't push my body around anymore. I heed my body's wisdom, trust my inner voice, and hand over the steering wheel to my Higher Power. Being ill has taught me to let go and allow my life to unfold, naturally.

10. I have learned to let go of the many "should"s and "have-to"s of life -- because I've had to. I used to be ambitious, with a strong, people-pleasing streak, and would do things just to impress others. Now, being ill has given me an excellent alibi for avoiding anything I don't really want to do anyway -- especially things that are not really good for me.

For example, I used to drink alcohol and smoke weed and sometimes wind up in the wrong man's bed. Now, thanks to being mentally ill and medicated, I cannot drink or toke at all, and am able to avoid all sorts of unhealthy dramas. I also no longer eat sugar, stay out late, overexercise, overwork, or overstress -- or else I pay an immediate and drastic price. Overindulgence or excess stress leads to mood swings (which often become suicidal thoughts) and pain flares (which often debilitate me completely).

So, ironically, being ill has forced me to be healthy. I take really good care of myself now. My diet and lifestyle are balanced and healthy -- no matter what that other people around me are doing, and no matter what other people expect me to do. Bye-bye "should"s -- Hello self-care.

So, I've learned a few things from the struggles I've been through in recent years. So, God, what do you think? Maybe I've learned my lessons? Maybe now can I be well again???

Feel free to comment or email me your own list, or any thoughts. Namaste'.